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The Mad Mermaid
So, while I slaved away the past two days on a bunch of graduate level, grade A bullshit, I watched a bunch of stuff on Netflix.

First, my sister told me to watch a documentary called The Rock-afire Explosion. I should point out that my sister's boyfriend (who is also a friend of my husband's) loves bizarre and weird movies, and is able to magically find them, and find them on Netflix. So lord knows how they stumbled across this, but they did.

Anyway, for those of you not in the know, such as myself before I viewed, The Rock-afire Explosion were the animatronic band that played at Showbiz Pizza in the 1980's. The documentary is basically about the creator of the Rock-afire and the super-fans that still love it--- so much that they own their own shows. It was pretty fantastic in a way that I can't describe. My sister found it kind of depressing, I think, which I didn't except in the sense of nostalgia or things being lost with time, but she doesn't really fangirl anything so I think to her the whole concept seemed kind of odd. To me, I actually thought it was kind of inspirational.

Another recommendation from my sister, but only because it was so bad: Santa Sangre. I am not going to link to it here, because it was the biggest waste of my life I've ever seen. I will cut for spoilers here, but believe me when I say the movie is spoiled to start with. Also, don't read if completely messed up shit will make you upset.

The movie is about a circus boy. His dad is a knife thrower who's boning the tattooed lady that he throws knives at. His mom is a batshit crazy trapeze artist that is the high priestess of this weird cult that thinks this school girl that got her arms cut off and raped is a saint.(Santa Sangre, in fact.) Only it's really just fucking creepy and when I real priest shows up to intervene in the demolition of the church and tells her not only that, but that the pool of blood is really paint she goes nuts-o screaming holy blood and refuses to leave as the place is bulldozed.

Arriving back at the circus, she realizes about the boning, but the knife thrower is also a mesmerist and makes her forget and do him. Cowgirl style, and the Circus Boy spies and watches. There's also a mute mime girl, not sure what her point is except to be an obvious love interest for the circus boy. The tattoo lady is either her mom or her guardian.

During the mom's act, she sees hubby leave with tattooed lady. She rushes down after them, and locks circus boy in their trailer. She then proceeds to interrupt the pair as they begin to get it on by throwing some acid (that was just conveniently on the table next to the bed) on their crotches. The dad cuts her arms off, then staggers outside the tent where he slits his throat in front of the trailer the circus boy is in. See ya, son!

This is all a flashback, and I skipped the part about the elephant funeral where the homeless people eat it once they throw it in the dump and his dad uses his knife to give him a full chest tattoo to cheer him up; the movie starts with the circus boy in an institute where his room looks like a giant cat should live in it: a climbing/ scratching tree, a basket to sleep in, and he eats fish. Like a raw fish with its head and shit. He looks like Jesus with a flat affect and his face is kind of shiny.

For some reason, everyone else in the place is a person with Down syndrome which I found creepy and exploitative. They go on a field trip to a movie, but a random pimp stops them as they go in and gives them all cocaine and takes them to a seedy alley where they all dance with strippers (not Circus Boy, he gets no coke and follows morosely). The pimp leaves them in the care of an overweight, possibly transvestite prostitute, and the three men with DS joyfully group hug her, excluding Circus Boy, but it's no matter because he's caught a glimpse of his nemesis, the tattooed lady.

The next day, he climbs his cat condo and sees his armless mom standing outside. Being a circus person, he shimmies out and follows her. At this point, I start to really check out. Mom is armless and still mean as shit and crazy as a loon.Circus Boy shaves and rocks a ponytail and full circus style tuxedo, sometimes looking oddly like Marilyn Manson, only he still needs powder. They have an act that consists of him standing chest to back with her and pretending his arms are hers (complete with red talon fingernails) while she narrates some stupid crap about god creating the earth with a lot of cheesy arm movements. And also caresses herself occasionally, ick. Not sure why anyone would pay to see this, and also remember now that at some point, before Circus Boy started painting his nails red, there was a scene where the tattooed lady was mysteriously killed by red-nailed hands and the mute mime girl ran away. When she ran away, she stopped to stare at a man. He stared back intently. Then he slowly ripped his own ear off and then tried to get her to eat it while she girl slapped him like a baby and then finally ran away and slept on top of the cab of an 18-wheeler.

The thing totally devolves as the mom begins to demoniacally possess "her hands" and forces Circus Boy to kill any babe that so much as looks at him, let alone winks, all while he dresses in outfits that coordinate to her negligees so that when THEY WAKE UP TOGETHER IN THE MORNING he can immediately roll over to her side of the bed and begin to be her arms, and in fashion too!

I skipped a great deal of the movie here, being disgusted by the simpering way he catered to this horrible bitch, and not interested in seeing him gruesomely murder a bunch of girls. I picked it up at the end, where all the ghosts of the women he's killed pop up from the grave nekkid to solemnly look at him as he tries to bury the latest. Then, through a confrontation where he resists Mom because Mute Girl shows up and he won't kill her, it is revealed, a la Norman Bates, that his mom is really dead. She died when his dad cut her arms off, and this whole time he's actually had a dummy that looks like her so what the holy fucking hell and who cares. And all these clowns he's been seeing from the circus are also hallucinations, but they help him throw the doll away and embrace him as he says, quote, "My mommy is dead." And someone tried to come in during the fight and saw it and called the cops so the end is him and the mute coming out with their hands up. Get it, their hands up, har dee har har.

The most mystifying thing about this movie is that if you google it, it's almost UNIVERSALLY PRAISED. Seriously. Not just by fans on Amazon but by almost all major movie critics. What a tour de force of the thought-provoking human condition of mans inhumanity to elephants and surreal incestuous cinema blah blah blah blaharrrrrrggggghhhh.

I think I hated the movie a lot more than I thought, now that I just word-vomited the whole insane plot in a stream of consciousness rage. Maybe nobody should read that.

To make up for this awful flick, today I watched Twin Peaks while I worked. Man, that show was so damn good. I've always wanted to find some good fic that wrapped it up after it was cancelled with all the cliff-hangers. I know it has to be out there.

Ok, my intent was to update about some media instead of life tragedy, and then read a book I got today used. I think I blew my wad with my frothing rant about Santa Sangre, but I do want to mention the book before I go to sleep.

It's called The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore. (Why the hell do all non-fiction books have such long subtitles anymore? That's a rant for a whole other entry I guess.) It was referenced in this NY Times article. I was intrigued by the article and found it resonated with me, as someone who is lonely sometimes. Anyway, I will report back if it's any good. And if it's not, I'm going back to reading more gay werewolf romances by J.L. Langley.


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