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Ugh.
The Mad Mermaid
themadmermaid
So, I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately. I don't really feel depressed or sad, but I am super tired and have no energy. I also am finding myself avoiding most of the people I work with because interacting with them just seems so tiresome that it's not even worth it. Now, they can all be total idiots, but it hasn't even been that. It's been more of a "why the hell should I ask you how you are because I don't really care" kind of thing, but with no feeling of malice. I keep coming home and sleeping, and although I will complete assignments for my one class right before the deadline, in my other class I keep putting stuff off because it's self-paced and there's no penalty. So basically I have depression without a sad affect, so does that still count as depression?

Now, my back is still bothering me a great deal, and that is truly annoying. I can't stand for any length of time without it feeling like my hip joints are full of ground glass and someone is stabbing me in the pelvis. I've been seeing a chiropractor, but I've started to get paranoid that perhaps I really have some kind of bizarre disease or other issue and I just think it's my back. I did have some pain a couple weeks ago that was like when I had an ovarian cyst, so that's fanning the flames. I suppose I could go to the doctor and see, but one, I detest going to the doctor, and two, in my experience, they never help you with non-specific complaints of this nature anyhow.

In happier news, it's my husband's birthday this weekend and his friend and I have cooked up an elaborate plan to surprise him. He thinks his friend might have to work and won't be able to come into town. In reality, he is definitely coming (and possibly bringing another friend) and with him he will bring the new television that several people chipped in to buy and we had sent to his home to keep a secret. I am sure my husband has no clue he is getting a tv. Ours is very old, small, and basically sucks. It's even hard to play some games on it because the screen quality is grainy.

Well, even though it feels like Friday I should go to sleep because it's really Thursday. But let me leave you with an odd little nugget. I read [personal profile] rosehiptea's entry about going to the museum and seeing artwork by female surrealists. That reminded me that back in high school, I got a book on a whim at this giant book clearance sale that was by a female surrealist. I really loved it, but at some point it exited my life. I don't remember if I gave it away, or lost it, or what. Anyway, I was inspired to Google it, thinking maybe I could figure out what it was and pick it up again for a few bucks.

Well, the novel is The Seventh Horse and Other Tales by Leonora Carrington (who actually only died last year). However, it is out of print and used copies range from $37 to $322. For a paperback. I guess I should have taken better care of mine. D:

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Actually I'm pretty sure that does qualify as depression. People who are depressed don't necessarily feel sad. (I am not a doctor, or even a nurse...)

I'm glad your husband will get a nice surprise for his birthday, and I hope you enjoy your new TV.

They had some work at the exhibit by Leonora Carrington! Too bad you lost the book, but I've lost a few good ones myself so I know how that is.

(FYI, I accidentally posted a one letter comment and deleted it... in case you get the notification.)

You are probably right. I meant to ask our school psychologist but I didn't see him. Not that I would have said it was about me. We always ask him all kinds of stuff so he wouldn't think it's weird.

I really think that I just got rid of it to the thrift store or something, which is sad. Maybe I will save some tutoring money and get it one day.

The TV plan went off well! I am going to post about it now.

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